Tonight I had to go through all my voicemail and get rid of some old ones because my inbox was full. The first message was from my Grandfather that I always keep saved. The next one was from Ryan...
He had called me one of his first nights home a few weeks ago around 3am.... just sobbing and crying. I was asleep and didn't get the call and oh how I wish I would have. In between his tears I heard.... "Lynds....I just need someone to talk to....give me a call back when you get this."
I called him the next morning and he was just so overwhelmed. I tried to calm him down and tell him to take it one day at a time. I reminded him that he had so many people around him that not only loved him but would be there to take care of his lil pumpkins while he was gone.
But I could hear it in his voice. He was in over his head. There was nothing I could say that could ease up his stress. He couldn't imagine having to say goodbye to Nana and Poppop before he left. He just didn't want to go through with any of it.
The next few messages were family members telling me to say prayers for him, the few days prior. Nana said "that poor kid... so mixed up." That's exactly the words for it. I just don't understand... he was raised in the same family as me, brought up the same way, but we lived totally different lives. If I could start over I'd trade him, just so he could have had some more peace.
But ya know what... let me flip this right now for all my readers -- all 3 of you ;) Ryan had a lot of fun in his life. Maybe a little too much? Hehe. One of his good friends wrote to me tonight and said he remembered a time when Ryan mooned him and was like "Isn't my butt cute?!?!" haha :) That's so him.
Just a quick memory from when we were young... Ryan and I had this one particular godawful babysitter when we were younger whom shall remain unnamed. Anyway Ryan was being bad (imagine that!) and he got put in the corner. I am going to guess I was about 7 and he was about 11. So this chick made him stand in the corner for an hour! I was so mad that she was being so mean. Since I wasn't aware of "Children and Youth" at that point in my young life, I decided to do what any lil sister would do: I rebelled in defense of my big brother. I jumped out my bedroom window on the first floor.
This was my version of "running away" and we can all assume why I knew what "running away" was at that age. After I made the plunge and walked around for a while, I heard "unnamed psycho sitter" yelling for me, freaking out when she ran into my room and saw my window open and a little blonde girl walking down the driveway.
She finally convinced me to come back inside and was so shocked, distracted and appauled by my performance that Ryan was in the clear. The only other thing I remember about that day is this chick thought she could entertain me by jumping in the air pretending she was Barney. I don't think she lasted much longer...
Pretty sure I know who taught me to stick up for the people I care about.
<3 Lil sis
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:)
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