One Week today

Well today marks one week already. The longest week of my life. I don't have much to say today. It is cold and rainy outside and I would like to curl up in my bed for the rest of the day. I start back to work tomorrow and that will be a challenge. That is where I got the news.

I was just reading through my journal that I got back in December of 2007. Ryan is on so many pages. I always worried about Ryan as if he were my own son. I was concerned about him and lost sleep over him just as a mother would. I wanted to help him.

December 18, 2007
Pat called tonight and said he was going to visit Ryan tomorrow! That is so sweet of him; he is such a good guy. And such an awesome friend. It really made my day. I hope Ryan was both surprised and satisfied!

January 25, 2008
Mom called yesterday while I was at work. Ryan is coming home!!!!! Best day ever. He is home in 60 days!! =)

February 21, 2008
Disappointed. It's out of my hands though! I can't spend my whole life stressing and worrying about someone else. Decisions and choices are a personal thing -- he should have known better. I can't give him my advice or my opinion because we will just fight. I don't want that. His P.O. needs to be on his tail more, calling the house and coming to the house. Freedom and trust have to be regained slowly. Not all at once or it can be a bad thing.

March 3, 2008
This week I feel so much better than last! I just need to live my life and not be consumed by his. I'll be there for him always but he needs this time. I don't want to say "told you so" but it's heading there.

December 24, 2008
I knew. I saw with my own eyes. I knew and did not tell. Because I was scared of what he would do. I tried to tell. I should have done something. Now look...

Some of these were written during times of struggle but I smile remembering how much I wanted to take of my bro, even though I was the little sis.