October 2006

This morning I found this letter I wrote to Ryan in 2006...

Ryan,
I’m really sorry about what happened tonight. I feel really bad and I am worried about you but I will say a few prayers that you are ok. I know I won’t be able to sleep tonight cause I do worry too much. That’s probably why I wrote that poem, cause I always think about stuff before I fall asleep.

Regardless of all that, I have faith in you that you handled it all ok when you were confronted and I’m hoping everything is ok. I hate this, I just want you to come home! It’s so hard leaving there and leaving you there. I know it is ten times harder for you, since you stay there, but it is a feeling that I cannot even describe. I hate it though. And the hardest part is, I can’t really talk to any of my friends about it because none of them understand. I just want you to come home so badly and I get so scared thinking about people that might try to mess with you when you get out or instigate shit. I can’t even imagine what would happen if you had to go back there. I guess I just need to stop thinking like that and just be positive, and have FAITH in you that you are a different person. You are so smart and I know you have learned your lesson and you’re looking forward to starting your life over and maybe then I will stop worrying.

My friend is on medication for excessive worrying – maybe I should ask my doctor about it. Anyways please call Mom soon and let her know if everything is ok or not ok!! Anyways I’m going to try to get some sleep. It was a nice visit today and I hope you enjoyed yourself and are proud of yourself!!!

Love you as much as I love Reese Peanut Butter Cups
<3 Lynds