He Made a Difference

I got this from a good friend of the family today:

Well I'm sure you remember being at the cabin, seems like I was always there. It was 6-7th grade specifically, I remember you were up there more than usual, so I had someone my age to hang out with. Oh and it didn't hurt that Lindsey E was there too, I always really liked her. But I absolutely hated the rest of my life, the cabin was all I enjoyed in life. School was horrid, I had a lot of problems with my family, and I just felt empty. I became so depressed I lost sensation, I couldn't feel physical pain, heat, cold, almost anything.

You and Ryan were literally my only friends, I had others I could hang out with, but I didn't care about them and vice versa. Because of that, I didn't really know how to deal with people or friends well, still have that problem. I remember talking to you in the sun room once, I can't remember too much, but I knew you wanted to help me, and since I'm always so stubborn, you hit a brick wall. One weekend you weren't there, but Julia was, and upon talking to her, she told me that you were praying for me to find help. That has always stuck with me, and meant a great deal.

My depression has always been very deep. It got so bad, and I don't know if I should really get into this due to the nature of it, but here goes... I really was suicidal. I hurt for so long, had almost no one, I wanted my pain to stop. The cabin, your family, but mainly you and your brother was the reason I couldn't. I couldn't take you guys thinking less of me if I had, which I was damn close. I tried to tell you once, I believe it was around New Years. You, Ryan, and even Lindsey E were at the cabin. I don't remember what happened, I may have told you and you didn't believe me, or I chickened out, but right after, I told Julia. Her, Ted and Ashley talked to me about God forgiving me, accepting me, and me pushing through. Afterwards, I gained strength and made it through, still a lot of problems, but I've made a lot of progress.

In plain English, I feel I am here today because of your family. And your kindness was one of the profound reasons I didn't go through with it. I pray that this isn't painful to hear and reopen wounds, it is meant to show you just what you can do. I believe in telling someone what they can and have accomplished to encourage them to move forward. I believe just by being you, you have saved a life, and possibly more than one. I thank you and your family for being who you are, because I consider you family. I pray you can find strength in this. I hope it isn't too hard for you to hear, because I really think you can help others by being an inspiration and a confidant. I miss you guys. Smile, the world's a better place for it.