From Ryan

"If tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say
I know how much you love me
As much as I love you
And each time that you think of me
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought!
I didn't want to die. I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss some tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity, And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last,
and since each day is the same way,
There's no longing for the past.
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart."


People comment on my strength and wonder how I can even muster up enough to write these. This is helpful and theraputic to me, and it's just as theraputic when others read them. It makes me feel good that they know Ryan, or are getting to know Ryan. Some of my friends from Baltimore that did not even know him, do now. It's an amazing feeling and just as the title of my blog says, this is my way of keeping Ryan with me each day, and alive in my memories and my heart. Thank you for reading.