Star Light, Star Bright

It's not hard for Mom or me to come across little pieces of Ryan on a daily basis. He was always full of surprises, and constantly did little things to show he cared. One day he walked into my Mom's office and handed her a little single rose.... fake, but nonetheless, adorable. Little tokens of his love and he never missed an "I'm just thinking of you" opportunity. The rose sits here on her desk as I type now.

Mom came across this poem Ryan wrote on February 29, 2004 and so in honor of Valentines's Day, the rose, and this poem... I felt compelled to share.

Here goes...

Star light, star bright
I wish I could see all the stars tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wishes I wish tonight...

I wish when I was younger I listened to Mom and Dad
I wish when I was younger, I wasn't quite so bad
I wish I knew then, what I know now
I wish from the beginning I knew how
To be the young man you wanted me to be
Why, Dear Lord, was this so hard for me?

I wish I was stronger than I feel now
I'm tired and weak
It's the Lord's help I seek

I wish to be forgiven for all my wrongs
I wish you could feel how my heart longs
To take back all the hurt and goodness I'd insert.

I wish the world was always a happy place
Where everyone has a smile upon their face.
I wish all could see the care in my heart
As a beautiful picture painted as art.

I wish all who are cold go where it's warm
I wish all who are wet were out of the storm.

I wish all knew love and none felt hate
I wish we could all pick our own fate.

I wish I had a book with all the answers we seek
When came a question, I'd just take a peek.

In closing to all, family and friends
And also to strangers and lives that just began
I say once more but never again
Now it's back to where it all began.

Star light, star bright
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wishes I wish tonight....

By Ryan M. Jasper


*This makes my heart ache, at the time just seeing it as a nice poem with rhyming words, looking back knowing these words were his cry for help and his longing for peace. He felt tired and week back in 2004, but tired and weak, he feels no more.


Reading this makes me want to help people, any second I get, try to find peace and happiness in their own lives. Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.

This year, you can be my Valentine big bro. Love and miss you EVERY DAY!!!!!

Love,
Your lil sis