Just when I was beginning to feel grief over the absence of Ryan during the holidays, I received a heart-warming email from a friend. It couldn't have come at a better time:
"Hey Jasp,
I know it's been a while since we've talked, but something happened last year at this time that really struck me... I have been debating whether or not to reach out to you about it, and then I saw your facebook status about your brother....
Last year right around Christmas, Jason and I were walking through our mall and it was completely packed with people getting christmas gifts, etc... We were trying to navigate through he crowds in the main area of the mall and I was getting really irritated and frustrated because people were being really pushy and it was really difficult to get through all the traffic... Then, there was this random man standing to my left walking in the opposite direction and we locked eyes... I know this sounds SO strange but I thought immediately, "That's Ryan"... It was his eyes... I wasn't thinking about you or your brother so it was completely random that he came to mind... I just felt like this man was carrying your brother's spirit... I never even met your brother, and i've only seen him in pictures... but in my mind it was undoubtably him.. He looked at me, smiled and kept moving... I just had this crazy feeling like I had seen an angel... He was like a figure of peace and happiness in the midst of the mall chaos... I know how crazy this all sounds, but it really really struck me... I told Jason about it later that night because it was still on my mind, and I have been debating about telling you ever since...
I wanted to share this with you because I personally believe in angels and that people don't ever really leave us.... I know this time of year must be especially hard for you and your family... I guess I didn't tell you about this sooner because I didn't know if it would upset you or make you happy... I hope it's the latter and that you can smile about it...
Anyways, I hope you are doing well and that you have a wonderful Christmas...
Love,
Aubs"
It's refreshing to read uplifting messages of hope, especially around this time of year. The Holidays were a challenge last year but we got through it so I know we can this year as well. I feel Ryans presence around me often and I know that he is watching over all of us. I guess I just keep waiting to see him again and that feeling of waiting and waiting is not comforting. Still coming to terms with everything I suppose.
All that aside, I know Ryan will be with us this holiday season. His presence is not forgotten; he is with us all the time. Even when we don't know it.
Merry Christmas Eve....
Missing him,
Lynds
